A Perfect Love

He was not a perfect man, but she loved him with a perfect love.  A love as pure as the little white dress with embroidered flowers that she wore.

It didn’t matter that he didn’t have a job, his strong arms were all the security that she needed.

It didn’t matter that the streets had made him hard, because her gentle soft kisses softened him so that he turned into a pile of mush.

It didn’t matter that some may look at him and call him a thug, because what she saw was her superhero.

It didn’t matter how ugly life had been to him, because her lovely mocha face was so beautiful that when he saw her, the sheer brilliance of it blocked out every single negative thing in the world.

He had been a sinner, a chief sinner.  So for the life of him he could not understand what he had done deserve this beautiful little angel.

He was not a perfect man, but she loved him with a perfect love.  A love as pure as the little white dress with embroidered flowers that she wore.

It was a loved that saved him.

What You Don't Know About Your Pastor

Some time ago my father (who is a pastor) got into a debate with an old member.  Now I will not go into full details, but I will tell you it was about money that churches take in.  The debate ended with my father blocking the individual.  When my father told me about the conversation, at first I was irritated, but then I realized this individual had no clue what my father had done for their family because they were simply too young at the time their family left the church. 

I remember when this person’s father came to our house every three days asking for twenty dollars for gas and food for his several children, and my father giving it to him.

I remember when the church was going on a trip and this person’s parents decided to go “in faith” knowing that they didn’t have ANY money for hotel or food for them and their several children.  So my father being the person that he is, instead of giving them gas money to get back home, he paid for their family during the entire trip.

I remember my father taking the young boys, including this person’s brothers to their football practices, and my father paying for their equipment.

I remember the prayers, the counseling sessions, the mentoring all to make this person’s parents better people.  And I see the fruit of my father’s labors.  You see all their children are doing well.  College educated, good jobs with families of their own.  But that is in part due to the fact that my father, their pastor, took the time out of his life to help somebody else. 

You see for every crooked pastor, there are three more who are working themselves to the bone for the people in their congregation.  And this is what I want you to know about your pastor, and that is they labor over you.  They pray over you.  They want the best for you.  And they want you to become better, not just for yourself, but for your children.  

A Life Worth Living

Back in 2007 I had gone with my two youngest sisters and two friends to an art museum in Detroit called the Detroit Institute of Art, better known as the DIA.  Now I was in a fashion show earlier that day so I was meeting them at the museum after the show.  By the time I had found them they had only been there for a half an hour, but that was just enough time for them to start to get into trouble.  I walked up on them just in time to catch my friend Brian (a habitual prankster and chronic picker) had about convinced my baby sister Tina into climbing into a medieval stone sarcophagus.  I still don’t know what Brian gave my sisters, but I’m pretty sure it was candy, caffeine, and cocaine, because they were unusually hyper and hell bent on misbehaving.  Unfortunately I spent the rest of my evening saying “Stop that” and “Don’t touch that”.  At one point the elder of the two (Angelina) was trying to take a picture of Tina in front of a chair made of cardboard.  Angelina told Tina to back up, and Tina not paying attention clipped the edge of the platform and actually fell onto the display knocking the cardboard chair over.  Thank God it was not damaged, but that was the point when I decided it was time to go. 

Fast forward to 2015 my youngest sister and I were back at the museum, but it was altogether an entirely different experience.  The hyper child was gone, replaced by an older thoughtful young woman, and an artist herself.  Gone was the child who felt the need to touch the Native American ritual knives to see if they were still sharp, and standing before me was the woman whose face was inches from the paintings studying every little detail.  Where before I had to get her attention to look at a cool statue, she now was explaining to me what an artist was trying to convey. 

The Finding of Moses by Laurent de La Hyre

At one point she said something to me that struck a chord.  We were standing in front of this gorgeous oil painting, The Finding of Moses, by Laurent de La Hyre.  The colors were rich and vibrant.  The scenery seemed so real that one could almost smell the water.  As I admired the painting, Tina pointed out the moss on the tree and said,

 “It’s the little details that makes a picture look more real.”

As I pondered her simple statement about a painting I thought about how true it was, and it caused me to reflect on the lives of loved ones that have passed on.  Because you see it is the simple things, not the big things, that add meaning to our lives.  I thought about my grandfather who would sing me gospel hymns and call me a princess.  I thought about my Uncle Raymond and how I missed the political debates between him and my Uncle Bernard at family gatherings.  I thought about my playful little cousins Little Tuttie, Baby Patty, and Judah gone from this world too soon.  And my grandmother Patricia Barr, oh how I miss her.  She had many names.  Pastor Barr, Sister Barr, Prophetess Barr, Mother Barr, but the grandkids, we all called her Momma Pat.  At times when it seemed as if your world was crumbling apart you could go to her and she would say, “Oh the devil is a liar!  Not my grandbaby!”  And no matter where she was at, she would stop and pray and everything would be alright.

There are more that have passed on, so many more, too many more.  Aunts, uncles, great-grandparents, grandparents, cousins and friends.  But one thing that they all have in common is that it’s not the clothes, the jewelry, or the cars they drove that I remember.  It’s the smiles, the hugs, the laughs, kind words, and yes even stern rebukes.  It’s the fragrance of homemade rolls, and tastes of fresh baked pies.  It’s watching God answer a prayer because the matriarchs could “get a prayer through”.  It’s the funny stories, the pranks, and inside jokes.  Its water balloon fights, volleyball games, and horseshoes.  Its kissed booboos, lullabies, and gentle reassurances.  It’s these small things, those little simple things, which lets you know someone lived a life worth living, because they leave you with a memory worth having.  It’s the simple details that makes love more real.  

BoYo: The Best of Both Worlds

Fortune Fivehundred

Like most people I have tried various forms of exercises to stay in shape.  Everything from Tae Bo to Zumba.  Some things work better than others, but then I had a friend tell me about this gym and a new concept that is becoming all the rage in the Metro Detroit area, BoYo.  If you like kickboxing, you will love BoYo.  What makes BoYo so popular?  Well for one, you can burn anywhere from 850 to 1300 in ONE class.  And secondly, it’s fun.  No I’m serious it really is fun.

To get a better understanding about BoYo I sat down with professional boxer, trainer, Jabs Gym co-owner, and co-inventor of BoYo, Fortune Fivehundered.  Fortune came up with the concept with his partner David Tessler, who is also a yoga instructor.

Gina: Explain to me how BoYo is different than kickboxing.  

Fortune:  With kickboxing you have a base that is just a full all out cardio, full fledge workout.  There are a lot of kicks, a lot of repetitions which is always good.  But the fact of the matter is with BoYo, with the boxing aspect of it there are no kicks.  What we are doing is we are giving the basic boxing structure.  Giving people proper form.  In a kickboxing class people most of the time stay stand square to a bag.  In BoYo you are standing in a boxing stance so you can use more rotation in your torso so you can put more emphasis on the core. 

Gina:  So with BoYo you get a better core workout than you do with kickboxing?

Fortune:  You get a better all-around workout.  Because it’s like doing anything else, technique is tiring.  And that is the best form of work.  It’s just like doing a workout.  You can do a workout and do fifty of something fast and in a hurry to get you heart going.  To get some muscle breakdown.  But when you do something slow and controlled you get the best benefits.  That’s like bodybuilders in competitions.  They don’t do a lot of reps, they do real slow, controlled, concentrated movements.

BoYo slows the heart rate up, working on form and technique to where you got basic boxing drills that I’ve put into play for group settings where we got speed drills, you have power combinations, you have so many different things that us as boxers go through that now I have given to everyday people.  My theory is always, train like a champion.  I make life champions.

Gina:  So how did you come up with the concept for BoYo?

Left to Right:  Bryan Lubaway, Jimmy Evans, Ice, Ernie Houser, 

Greg Coverson, Fortune Fivehundred, and David Tessler

Fortune:  Well, me and my partner Dave, who is actually a yoga instructor, came up with the idea.  When I was boxing, I would train so hard that my body would be very tight.  And the fact of being tight is that when you do get hit in boxing you absorb most of the impact of that. Well with me I started doing yoga for stretches.  At first I was kind of bias about it you know.  Like oh this is boring, this that and the other, but I after I went and did the class it was such an awesome workout.  It calmed me spiritually, it opened up my muscles where I was tight in so many different areas.  It increased my speed, and when I get hit, I’m so relaxed now I don’t take that full impact which is more dangerous, so that’s when I really got more into it. 

So when we merged the two, I was saying that this is something that all fighters should do, and everyday people as well.  I know a lot of people who would do personal training, or they would do kickboxing class and they would never stretch.  And they said that not being able to be flexible is like a disease. 

You know we are made flexible.  As babies we can do the splits and all types of things, but over the years we stop using our muscles and that flexibility so as you tighten up it restricts you from moving and doing things that you should be able to do even stops your body from growing a certain way. 

Gina:  So when people don’t stretch properly before they work out they are really doing even more damage?

Fortune:  The chances of you getting an injury is higher.  You are supposed to have a light stretch before, and an even deeper stretch afterwards.  And that breaks down that soreness and stuff like that.  It helps.  That’s why a lot of people when they come to BoYo they will be sore, but it won’t be an unbearable sore because we have taken them through a strength training base yoga. 

You know with yoga you use your body weight, you twist and turns and holds, and poses.  The muscle shock that you get from that alone gives your body that sculpting that you want.  So we have the boxing that is a high repetition and cardio based. Plus you are actually learning proper form, like how to throw a punch.  And it kind of brings people into my world a little bit more.  Like people always think that boxing is just two people that’s punching each other, naw it’s a lot that goes into it.  You have to be intact mind, body, and spiritually.  And it’s the same thing with yoga.  With yoga you gotta be calm within yourself, you have to be prepared mentally. 

Gina:  So how many calories does someone typically burn during a BoYo class?

Fortune:  Well we’ve had several people wear different heart monitors to keep track of it, and we’ve had a minimum, which comes from a mild mannered person who doesn’t hit the bags as hard, and they burn anywhere from 850 to a 1000 calories.  The top guy in my class that does it and he’s very excited about it, he just broke a record of 1310 calories.

Gina:  So anywhere from 850 to 1300 calories depending upon how much effort that person puts into it?

Fortune:  Exactly, that’s the record right now, but we are trying to break that record.

Gina:  Now I know that with some people they feel like with kickboxing, boxing, and BoYo they feel that they have to be in better shape in order to do these types of classes.

Fortune:  That’s not what it is.  It’s like in a yoga class, they have advanced and people like that think but every class is the same.  They will tell you, you go at your own pace.  You make adjustments when needed.  If you are doing the boxing portion and you are tired, well you stop, take a couple of deep breaths.  And when you feel it you start right back up, and get right back in sync with the class. 

Gina: What would someone need to get started when they come to class?

Fortune:  Well when they come here we actually give them everything they need.  From the yoga mats to hand wraps.  We make everybody wrap their hands which is different than most places.  Because I know what kind of protection you need around your hands.  It gives you that wrist support to stabilize the wrist so you don’t have an injury, and it gives you that extra padding around the knuckle area.  We also give people boxing gloves.  The only thing that we ask is that you bring yourself, an open mind, and a positive attitude. 

Gina:  If someone isn’t in the Metro Detroit area and if someone wanted to try out a kickboxing class or a boxing class, what would your suggestion be that they look for?  What qualities should they look out for?

Fortune:  With everything that you do you want to make sure that you go to a place where you are comfortable with being there.  That it is a good energy and that the people are making it enjoyable, because the hardest thing about working out is to keep doing it.  So I found that if you have a great personality, a great trainer that makes it fun and challenging at the same time, it makes you better.  It keeps you more motivated, to keep you to doing it.  To keep you growing.

I love the fact that we are helping people.  You know we started here in Detroit.  We have a very bad reputation when it comes to obesity and things like that, and I’m just trying to help change that.

How Do I Hope?

I had a conversation with a gentlemen the other day that told me a story about a young man, about 14 years of age.  This young man lived in a poverty stricken area, that was saturated with gun violence, drug addicts, and pushers.  This young man asked some simple questions,

“How do I get out?”

They tell him that education is the key.  But how does he receive a proper education in run down schools and overcrowded classrooms? How does he go to college with a 6^th grade reading level?

“How do I survive?”

He knows he’s not supposed to sell drugs, but what is a young man to do when his mother has given her bridge card to the dope man so there is no food in the house?  How does he eat?

“How do I live?”

How does he get a job and keep one when he has never in his life been taught discipline?  How does he develop a good work ethic when no one around him works?  When there is no after school sports programs with coaches that can mentor him?

“How do I dream?”

When everyone that made something of themselves left the neighborhood and doesn’t look back.  How does he believe that he can become a doctor, engineer, business owner, lawyer, when there are none around him?  When none come to his neighborhood, his school?  How can he be better when he has never seen better?

“How can I have faith?”

How can he believe in God when the man that is teaching about Him is just as crooked as the dope dealer on the street?  When “saints” point their finger in judgment but won’t lift that same finger to help him?

“How can I love?”

How can he love a woman properly when he has never seen a man cherish his mother?  How can he love his own kids when his father was never around to love him?

So what is this young man to do?  A young man that is stuck in the pit, and sinking into the mire? 

Who helps him out?

Who will teach him to survive?  To live?

Who shows him how to dream?

Who teaches him to have faith?

Who shows him love?

Will it be you? 

Will it be me?